[To provide some context to this post, here's the backstory: I graduated high school this summer (2011) from a private christian school owned by my church. I grew up between church and school, going to the same building 6 to 9 times a week for more than 12 years. My friends and I, we didn't love school, so they suggested that after graduation I should leave the place and never return, except maybe on Sundays for church. Little did I know that the school would offer me a job, two weeks after graduation! What that place meant to me growing up and what it means as I see it grow made me take the job. Bottom line I've realized I love this school and I am now teaching french twice a week for a year.]
“What are YOU doing here?!!! How could you possibly return to this place?” If I had a dollar for every time a high school student has asked me those questions… I’d have… I’d have many dollars.
I smile and secretly hope they don’t really expect an answer. I know why I’m here… “It’s where God wants me to be.” I repeat it and repeat it until they finally believe it, until I believe it.
In truth, I believed myself to be a rebel. The right kind of rebel, the kind that doesn’t conform to society’s standards, that doesn’t play it safe, that dares to be bold, different.
“Yet, you are still here… at the same place you grew up in. The school where you spent fifteen years of your life. Aren’t you tired of this place? When I leave I’m never setting foot here again.”
Yes, here I am. I could say I’m playing it safe, staying close to home, close to everything I know way too well. I could say so because every now and then the thought crosses my mind and i dare to believe it. Frustration comes, as I meet the stares of my friends, they read “You were different. What happened? You weren’t returning.”. Deep down they’ve begun to pity me for not leaving my comfort zone. They have begun to see me as a sad story, those that begin with she could’ve and she should’ve.
Hear me out. Doesn’t doing the opposite of what I am expected to do make me different? Could I, in a context where the norm is having a plan or working towards a college degree right after high school, could I be the deviation? Is it possible that by doing all that I should’ve never done (according to everyone else) I have become a rebel?
The right kind of rebel will sometimes choose to stay and “play it safe” when the norm is to run away and never look back.
If you really want to know, that is why I’m here. Along with the fact that I get payed to be here and I truly believe this is where God wants me.
[...] long overdue high school graduation. -The surprise (and honor) of being named Valedictorian. -The new job in an incredibly familiar setting, teaching an incredibly challenging subject. -An unexpected trip [...]